Mumblings by Ruchika Pandit

It was a really short stint, but it was damn frustrating. People at work somehow managed to make me act in one of promos for one of channel program. It was about some morning show. And I was made to drink tea! People, who know me, are aware of my dislike for this much hyped drink.

Any way.

The shoot was frustrating to the hilt. Thankfully, I didn’t give any retakes. But the producer wanted to capture the same action from different angles. And hence, I had to repeat the action again and again (well, he had only two cameras).

And…I had to drink the hot tea again and again. And I ended up with burnt lips and tongue. God! It’s still hurting.

Am telling you…this acting business so damn tough yaar. And for a person like me, who doesn’t posses something known as patience, its nearly impossible!

I am not going to act in any promo, or for that matter any thing, again!!!

There is something that is bothering me very acutely. It’s been one week now. The more I want to ignore this, the more it gets on me. It can be a minor issue if I ignore it. And it can be a major issue if I give it some more time and thoughts.

God!

I just don’t want to think about it. And the worst part is that I practically can’t do anything about it.

I am so helpless.

I should be concentrating on more important things in life. But no. I guess there is someone who wants to make things even worse for me (as if I am already having fun).

Does anyone know a good shrink?

Today, by chance, I bumped into a very old friend.

We had a few words over coffee. He made me realise that I have changed a lot during the course of four years. In-fact, he went to the extreme of saying that I no more resemble to the girl I used to be four years back.

I ain’t surprised or shocked for that matter. But yeah, I am wondering. Am I a different Ruchika today??

Hmm…I guess I am. He is not the first person to tell me how I have evolved during these years. My best friend says the same.

What really shocked me during our conversation was that he thinks that I was faking my happiness.

According to him, I have learnt this very fine art of faking happiness. He thinks that I used be a brighter and merrier girl back in school. But no more.

My words for him- boss, take a chill pill. Its been four long years! I am a grown up girl now. I have  learnt about this world and its affairs the hard way. So it will naturally show on my face. And yeah, I know how to fake happiness. Thank you very much for telling. But I think its necessary.And its damn necessary!!

When I am happy, people have problem.
When I am sad, people have problem.
When I speak, they have problem.
When I do not speak, then also they have problem.
Is there something wrong in my head?
Hmmm….what to do??

And lemme clarify this to all of you- I AM ACTUALLY VERY HAPPY!

I have been waiting for this very moment since ages. And now , when am actually there, it seems like a dream. Finally I got what I deserved. Or may be, I will get it later this year. Hey hey hey…I wont spill the beans so easily yaar.

Keep watching this space for more details.

Q- Why you keep laughing at me all the time??
Reply- Because you work at Aaj Tak.

Hmmm…I am speechless now.

What if all of a sudden everyone around you seems to be really interested in getting you married…?
What if every second day your mother tells you the same thing- ‘beta, we will get you married by the end of next year.’…..?
What if you start getting visited by all the forgotten relatives, and being asked the ‘question’?
What if you can’t convince your mother about your future plans of not tying the knot for another five years?
I am bearing all this for the past two months.
The only saving grace is my father, who is not so eager to get me away.
Being the eldest one in my generation, it is natural to everyone around me to look forward to my marriage. But hey, isn’t it supposed to be ‘my’ marriage! Even my small cousins are so eager toward the issue, that they have already started deciding among each other about the D day.
What the heck I say!
I do not want to get married, not now, not for another five years.
Its not like that I am averse to the idea. It’s just that this is not the time. Six months before, the situation was just opposite. I wanted to get married in a year or maximum two. But as my mom and some other persons started discussing the issue, I started getting scared of the idea. And I dont know the logic behind fear.
I want to have a stable stand first. Only after that I will think of settling down.
I think I will have to be really strong to defend my stand.
Lets see…..

People suggested me that wordpress is a better tool to blog. It may be. But since the day I have shifted to wordpress, I am actually blogging very less. Either I am getting lesser time to crib about things, or I am just being a lazy ass.

Lets say i am really busy these a days.

And I am still not feeling like to tell you about all the new things happening in my life! Not good Ruchika!

Any way, I am reading a lot these a days, I am traveling a lot these a days, I am working a lot these a days.

Have finished with two books in the last fifteen days. Still reading two!

Have been to Agra a few days back.

And the people at insti are making me work like anything. From 9 in the morning till 5 in the evening I am just speaking, speaking and speaking! Well, I would say thats a part of my job. Or should I say my future job!

Leave it.

The people at insti have finally decided where they will be putting us after two months. Most of my classmates are going for reporting but I have chosen programing instead. And I am very happy about this.

Well…I am getting bored now. So I will stop it here only.

Lets hope I will update this space more frequently…!

Its been quiet a few days since I updated this space. Nothing much happened actually. Life is normal.

Nothing interesting. I moved from blogger to word press. Thanks to a very special friend.

And about life…well, I failed really badly on a pledge to become vegetarian again. Shame on you Ruchika Pandit!!

At professional end, I can sense that people at insti are planning to place me in programming department. I will be a happy gal if this happens. I always wanted to do something in production only. I can do reporting as well, but production, packaging and programming are my ultimate calling!
At personal end, things are going pretty smooth.

Thats it for now!!

I am happy!

Ruchika bahut khush hai aaj!