I almost forget that I own a dedicated website for the updates of my life. Really bad of me. After all my husband’s hard earned moolah is going waste for this domain name.

Life is kind of treating me nicely these days. Have switched between jobs. Starting on a new career. I am marketing person now. And I am actually enjoying this thing more than my previous employment.

Personally, we (me and husband) have moved out. And take my word, living on your own is not as easy as you might be thinking. Especially for the two spoilt kids that we are. And living alone in a city like Gurgaon is not as fun as it seems to be. Thankfully we have got this nice apartment in a decent society. And there is a grocery store and vegetable shop just downstairs. So half of the problems are solved.

Overall, it feels like both of us have matured a bit. May be this moving out thing has some contribution to the feeling.

Lets hope I update this space on a more regular basis.

I just realised that tomorrow it will be whole good six months. I mean our six months! I mean Mrs. Ruchika Mittal’s six months! Six months of living in new home! Six months of living in new state! Six months of change! Six months of happiness (a bit of crying too)! Six months of sharing things! Six months of new Mom! Six months of new Papa! Six months of new family! Six roller coaster months!

How much cliched it may sound, but life has surely changed a lot. I have gained many many things i.e. weight. Have said good bye to many things i.e. aajtak! Have learnt many things.

I am different person. Well, not much, but yeah, a slightly different being.

Overall I have spent some nice memorable moments of my life. Thanks Sushubh.

No. I am just being very busy.

Life is good.

I am enjoying my work. And, at last, I have learnt newsroom management. (that is what they call it!) It’s very rare that I get frustrated because of incompatibility of others. I am getting used to it slowly and steadily. In fact, I find these news people funny at times. Most of them have lost their sensibility. No, seriously, I am not joking. May be I will also lose it someday. I really don’t know. Looking at the way I am enjoying this work, this is the most predictable thing.
And yeah, I am going to a lot of page 3 parties these a days. And that deserves an entire post. I will discuss that later. Time to grab some grub!

I have been occupied like hell for the past few days. And hence, not been able to fill up this space as regularly as I should be doing it. In addition to that, I am not feeling well for the past one week. Delhi is burning in May, but I am suffering from cold, cough, fever and god alone knows what. So, I would blame my bad bad health and the bad bad weather and the bad bad work schedule behind me not updating this space. I am such a shameless chick you see. :p
And yeah. How can I forget the most vital reason behind scarce blogging by me! My dear brother! He is the one to blame for not giving me the workstation! One can also site a good explanation in my crappy net connectivity!
See, I am so good at making lame excuses!

I am a confused creature. I have completed my graduate studies. I am about to complete my PG diploma. And I am still very much confused about what to do. I am doing a professional course. In fact I specialized in the same subject in my grads. Hence, reasonably, I should be having some thing in my mind about my future. But no. I am still, totally clueless.
Till now, with whomsoever I discussed this state of my mind, alleged that this is not going to be good for me. Even I used to reflect so. But today, I had a conversation with a very mature individual at work. And this is what he quoted:

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.”

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Hmm…its not that it has changed my mind. But yeah, it did help me out. I used to be really worried about my work life earlier. Because I never knew, for that matter I still do not know, what profession is most appropriate for me. Journalism? No. Production? May be. Photography? Umm. Cinematography? Can be. Art designing? Umm. Public relations? Can do it. Advertising? They think I have a knack for it!

Uff. There are so many options! I am so puzzled.

But now, I have somehow started enjoying this confusion. I have seen many single minded people. And I can say they are actually not the happiest ones. They know what they want, but still they are not satisfied with their lives.
Hence, I can say that I am better off being a confused individual!

There is something that is bothering me very acutely. It’s been one week now. The more I want to ignore this, the more it gets on me. It can be a minor issue if I ignore it. And it can be a major issue if I give it some more time and thoughts.

God!

I just don’t want to think about it. And the worst part is that I practically can’t do anything about it.

I am so helpless.

I should be concentrating on more important things in life. But no. I guess there is someone who wants to make things even worse for me (as if I am already having fun).

Does anyone know a good shrink?

Today, by chance, I bumped into a very old friend.

We had a few words over coffee. He made me realise that I have changed a lot during the course of four years. In-fact, he went to the extreme of saying that I no more resemble to the girl I used to be four years back.

I ain’t surprised or shocked for that matter. But yeah, I am wondering. Am I a different Ruchika today??

Hmm…I guess I am. He is not the first person to tell me how I have evolved during these years. My best friend says the same.

What really shocked me during our conversation was that he thinks that I was faking my happiness.

According to him, I have learnt this very fine art of faking happiness. He thinks that I used be a brighter and merrier girl back in school. But no more.

My words for him- boss, take a chill pill. Its been four long years! I am a grown up girl now. I have  learnt about this world and its affairs the hard way. So it will naturally show on my face. And yeah, I know how to fake happiness. Thank you very much for telling. But I think its necessary.And its damn necessary!!

And lemme clarify this to all of you- I AM ACTUALLY VERY HAPPY!

I have been waiting for this very moment since ages. And now , when am actually there, it seems like a dream. Finally I got what I deserved. Or may be, I will get it later this year. Hey hey hey…I wont spill the beans so easily yaar.

Keep watching this space for more details.

What if all of a sudden everyone around you seems to be really interested in getting you married…?
What if every second day your mother tells you the same thing- ‘beta, we will get you married by the end of next year.’…..?
What if you start getting visited by all the forgotten relatives, and being asked the ‘question’?
What if you can’t convince your mother about your future plans of not tying the knot for another five years?
I am bearing all this for the past two months.
The only saving grace is my father, who is not so eager to get me away.
Being the eldest one in my generation, it is natural to everyone around me to look forward to my marriage. But hey, isn’t it supposed to be ‘my’ marriage! Even my small cousins are so eager toward the issue, that they have already started deciding among each other about the D day.
What the heck I say!
I do not want to get married, not now, not for another five years.
Its not like that I am averse to the idea. It’s just that this is not the time. Six months before, the situation was just opposite. I wanted to get married in a year or maximum two. But as my mom and some other persons started discussing the issue, I started getting scared of the idea. And I dont know the logic behind fear.
I want to have a stable stand first. Only after that I will think of settling down.
I think I will have to be really strong to defend my stand.
Lets see…..