Life is good.

I am enjoying my work. And, at last, I have learnt newsroom management. (that is what they call it!) It’s very rare that I get frustrated because of incompatibility of others. I am getting used to it slowly and steadily. In fact, I find these news people funny at times. Most of them have lost their sensibility. No, seriously, I am not joking. May be I will also lose it someday. I really don’t know. Looking at the way I am enjoying this work, this is the most predictable thing.
And yeah, I am going to a lot of page 3 parties these a days. And that deserves an entire post. I will discuss that later. Time to grab some grub!

I am a confused creature. I have completed my graduate studies. I am about to complete my PG diploma. And I am still very much confused about what to do. I am doing a professional course. In fact I specialized in the same subject in my grads. Hence, reasonably, I should be having some thing in my mind about my future. But no. I am still, totally clueless.
Till now, with whomsoever I discussed this state of my mind, alleged that this is not going to be good for me. Even I used to reflect so. But today, I had a conversation with a very mature individual at work. And this is what he quoted:

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.”

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Hmm…its not that it has changed my mind. But yeah, it did help me out. I used to be really worried about my work life earlier. Because I never knew, for that matter I still do not know, what profession is most appropriate for me. Journalism? No. Production? May be. Photography? Umm. Cinematography? Can be. Art designing? Umm. Public relations? Can do it. Advertising? They think I have a knack for it!

Uff. There are so many options! I am so puzzled.

But now, I have somehow started enjoying this confusion. I have seen many single minded people. And I can say they are actually not the happiest ones. They know what they want, but still they are not satisfied with their lives.
Hence, I can say that I am better off being a confused individual!

Today, by chance, I bumped into a very old friend.

We had a few words over coffee. He made me realise that I have changed a lot during the course of four years. In-fact, he went to the extreme of saying that I no more resemble to the girl I used to be four years back.

I ain’t surprised or shocked for that matter. But yeah, I am wondering. Am I a different Ruchika today??

Hmm…I guess I am. He is not the first person to tell me how I have evolved during these years. My best friend says the same.

What really shocked me during our conversation was that he thinks that I was faking my happiness.

According to him, I have learnt this very fine art of faking happiness. He thinks that I used be a brighter and merrier girl back in school. But no more.

My words for him- boss, take a chill pill. Its been four long years! I am a grown up girl now. I have  learnt about this world and its affairs the hard way. So it will naturally show on my face. And yeah, I know how to fake happiness. Thank you very much for telling. But I think its necessary.And its damn necessary!!

Fine. I think I need to take some serious decisions at this point of time. Decisions that wont change. I know am really bad at doing this. But this time I am going to try it with all my will power.
I am fed up double standards people show.
From now onwards I will give my emotions a break. They really need to take some time off.
And from now onwards I will try to prioritize things a bit practically.
Lets see…..

I have some really nice people in my life. Just the idea of being around them bring a smile on my face.
They do not provide me with the solutions of my problems, they encourage me to face them.
They encourage me to have more patience.
They tell me how to be happy by ignoring things.
And yeah…they listen to all my cribbings. That’s a very brave job, I must say!
If I look back at the Ruchika of two years ago, then I realize that these people have made a huge difference in my life. And its a positive difference!!
I want to tell these people something- YOU ARE JUST AWESOME!
Thank you for tolerating me…

It was not for the first time that I experienced this kind of behavior from them. And it was not for the first time that i reacted in this manner! What happened was that i was kinda molested by a guy in the metro. And what I did was something I always do…I gave this person a tight slap! People standing around were a bit shocked..but then, I never give damn. What is more shocking is that as***le even didn’t has the sense to say sorry or something…he started arguing with me. It was getting out of my control….then a sensible looking uncle stood up from his seat and slapped this chap! Now it was his turn. He told me ” main dekh loonga”, and then he got down at the next station….and am still wondering that what will this guy “dekh lega”???
When I narrated the whole incidence to a friend, she told me not to create such scenes. You can never say about Delhi guys…they can do anything to take revenge. She tried to warn me…but what the heck?? I seriously do not posses something known as control or patience. And why should i tolerate these bloody bastards??
So…even after getting so called’ sensible’ advice from dear friend, Ruchika Pandit is not scared at all. She will keep doing what she is good at. She will keep beating the shit of these nasty , ugly and frustrated creatures.

A very unhappy movie. Portrays what goes on in the mind of guys when popped with question of marriage. I may call it insightful. It managed to show what they call ‘midlife crises’. The movie gives a very honest look on the phobia of commitment among guys.

A friend of mine said that she enjoys it when people sympathize with her.
Personally, I prefer anger over sympathy. Sympathy makes me feel like crying. Anger feels much better, makes me feel strong. Makes me feel like getting up and fighting, not just lying in the dust, weeping.
I felt exactly like this a few days ago. No more.
You people tell, what will be your pick- anger or sympathy?